destination: not kansas

It was january 2007 and all my friends were a bustle to pull off a rad surprise party for our friend jim stacy. for those of you who don't know him, jim is damn national treasure. a wealth of knowledge on just about any subject you can conjure up. and a gentle giant, standing damn near 6'8" with a giant red beard. and if you're half way worth a shit in the city of atlanta you know and love this man. so the story goes that he's had a recurring dream for years that on his birthday a monkey, wearing a diaper, greets him at the door and holds onto his pinky and leads him over to a throne and sits in his lap. so we had a real life monkey all lined up for this momentous occasion. it was gonna be the best damn birthday he ever had. like the make a wish foundation with a serious twitch. anyhoo, the night before the big day we got some bad news. the monkey's sibling, whom it had never been apart from, had taken ill. thus, our monkey was forced to cancel its appearance. here's where shit gets rad. that night i get a phone call explaining the situation. as they conclude with the explanation there's a pause and i hear, "so, i guess i was wondering if we could dress you up like a monkey and have you greet jim at the door and lead him to his throne by his pinky." i, in turn, congratulated them on asking me the stupidest question i'd ever heard. the next day i showed up to the gallery where the party was goin' down and a friend, who does professional movie make-up, dress me up like a monkey of sorts. he even brought a fez and a shriner's jacket. i wound up looking like a one of the flying monkeys from wizard of oz but with a pituitary disorder. so, 5:00pm rolls around and the door opens and i jump out and run around like a monkey and lead jim to his throne as everyone sings happy birthday. we may not have pulled off the real monkey, but damn was i proud to be able to be a part of that day. it was worth the cold i got from runnin' around in a diaper in the middle of january.

until next time, kiddos.